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Reflections of a Candy Cop
by bf oswald


From 1960 to 1964, the author was an investigator for the US Food and Drug Administration. His  assignments were varied and seldom dull – and very different from the police work regularly portrayed by the media. His experiences are sometimes poignant, more often humorous, and always interesting and informative.

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From Johnny DeSilver: FDA...

The feedlot was now covered in a blanket of new snow. Not a problem, the snow didn’t look that deep. I started to step off of the concrete floor onto the snow-covered feedlot. 

“I wouldn’t do that,” said the youngest member of the trio who had spoken very little thus far. “It’s real sloppy out there.”

Too late! My right leg was already in motion, and my body was following it off the concrete and onto the snow – and through the snow cover into ten inches of sloppy black, highly odoriferous muck. Since I had also committed my left foot, it too disappeared into the liquefied manure. I could feel it oozing over the top of my overshoes and slowly wetting my socks.

I stood still for a moment waiting for the trio of guffaws that I was sure would be coming forthwith. Silence. I couldn’t understand it, but I had to admire their restraint.

What I did not admire was the rate at which my galoshes were filling up with shit.

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